Yesterday the temperature was barely 70 degrees. A unique gift generally not heard of in Utah at the end of June. We had to go somewhere, do something and take advantage of it! I must also share that all of the boys were awake well before I would prefer them to be so we had adequate time to prepare an early exit. To the zoo! I don't know who loves the zoo more, myself or the boys. Often I invite friends or family to come with us and enjoy the day examining mostly non-native creatures. This time though it was just me and my boys. I love outings with friends but I think I love being with just my boys best! There is no one else to give my attention to and I can focus completely on them and their joys.
We first found ourselves by the Gorillas, stretching out to see if we were as tall as an infant, a juvenile, or adult male or female. Height was one thing, what really seemed incredible was how long their arms were and how short ours in comparison. Later we worked our way to the bears, the seals and the sea lions. It was a bit of a disappointment that the polar bear was not about, but we agreed we really had enjoyed him quite a bit on our last visit. Chas and Eli said they were hungry but they could wait until after we had seen the tigers and giraffes. Onward! One of the reasons I like to go to the zoo when the weather is a bit cooler is because the animals are more active and let us begin to see how they might really be in the wild.
On cooler days we have seen leopards stalking oblivious birds, cougars swinging on rope swings and leaping high in the air, and frisky zebras, tortoises, and giraffes. At the tigers I immediately noticed a plaque explaining the reality of three tiger brothers. They don’t always get along and sometimes it results in injury. The zoo wanted us to know that their vets were taking care of the owies they inflicted on one another. We were not to worry. We moved on to where we could observe two of the brothers. They were pacing near some trees and one began scratching his head and back against a tree. I looked down at Maddax and suddenly a roar shook and echoed about the complex. The tigers were baring teeth and swatting and roaring. People came running; one lady asked if it was a recording because they were so loud!
The boys and I began plugging words into their altercation:
Tigerbrother 1: I was here first!
Tigerbrother 2: I want a turn too! Its my turn!
Tigerbrother 1: To bad, wait your turn!
Tigerbrother 2: You’ve already scratched enough!
Then it began Jolleybrother style with Eli wanting to sit on the stroller with Maddax. Really it was quite the same, screaming, yelling, pushing, no real words employed. I laughed as I realized that the verbatim I had plugged for the tigers could basically be used in the current Jolleybrother exchange. What is the difference between having tigers or boys for children? I don’t think people would find comfort from a plaque posted in our home letting them know that all wounds were under care and observation, even though I know that their antics are normal brotherly interactions. While I am inclined to let them work it out, sometimes I must step in before blood is drawn or before the roars escape our home. Then again the tiger brothers, though only 3 years old are fully grown and my sweet ones I believe are still within my sphere of influence.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Blankets or Guns
The story AJ likes told most about when he was a baby is how hairy he was at birth. Long hair covering his head almost to his eyebrows and hair on his back and shoulders! The thing he currently likes least is having his hair 'done.' I should be grateful that at least on Sundays he likes his hair to look as good as his favorite three-piece suit. During the week, I don't really have a problem with hair not looking done. Its the bed-head that bothers me most! The compromise I have made is that as long as he combs it first he gets it his way. If I do it, its my way.
This morning I realized that since school started I have only combed the boys hair once when it was picture day and they have not combed it once! AJ and Chas had already left so Eli was my lone victim. I asked him the standard: "spikes, faux, or combed."
"Combed," he said. "But I don't want a cone!"
"Icecream?"
"No cone-head!"
I decided to drop the questions, just comb it and move on to the next step in getting him to school. He was so proud that he had fit BOTH his guns in his backpack. Each of these guns is at least 2 feet long! I thought about having the 'we shouldn't bring guns to school' conversation but decided to save that battle for when we were actually in the car on our way to school. SOO glad I did too because next he tried to stuff both of his special blankets in his backpack with his guns. Then came a line I never thought I'd get to use... "You have to choose..blankets or guns, you can't have both!"
He thought carefully for a moment then looking me straight in the eye said, "blankets Mama!"
It would seem that not all is lost when one of my sweet boys still finds the greatest comfort in toting around a bag of blankets instead of guns. Later I asked him what he meant by cone-head and he just smiled at me like I was the batty one!
This morning I realized that since school started I have only combed the boys hair once when it was picture day and they have not combed it once! AJ and Chas had already left so Eli was my lone victim. I asked him the standard: "spikes, faux, or combed."
"Combed," he said. "But I don't want a cone!"
"Icecream?"
"No cone-head!"
I decided to drop the questions, just comb it and move on to the next step in getting him to school. He was so proud that he had fit BOTH his guns in his backpack. Each of these guns is at least 2 feet long! I thought about having the 'we shouldn't bring guns to school' conversation but decided to save that battle for when we were actually in the car on our way to school. SOO glad I did too because next he tried to stuff both of his special blankets in his backpack with his guns. Then came a line I never thought I'd get to use... "You have to choose..blankets or guns, you can't have both!"
He thought carefully for a moment then looking me straight in the eye said, "blankets Mama!"
It would seem that not all is lost when one of my sweet boys still finds the greatest comfort in toting around a bag of blankets instead of guns. Later I asked him what he meant by cone-head and he just smiled at me like I was the batty one!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Candy Thief
AJ and Chas take things at face value. If they want something and I say no then they might not be happy but that will be the end of it. Eli considers all communication to be a form of bargaining. If given his best efforts, mommy still says no then generally he will do it anyway. He is also the first to have realized that just because he can't see treats, doesn't mean they aren't there. AJ and Chas have never found any of my stashes because it never occurred to them that they existed. Eli has found ALL of my stashes. He has also come to the conclusion that everything his brothers have is WONDERFUL.
So the other day AJ came in mad because the bag of candy he had brought home from a birthday party was missing. "Who took my candy," he asked?
Without looking up from the picture he was coloring, Eli said, "I did."
Exasperated but also relieved, AJ asked where it was. "In my drawer," Eli replied and chose another crayon.
AJ raced to Eli's room and came back with the candy, completely intact, not a piece missing. The funny thing about Eli is that while he has been known to decimate stashes, often enough he wants only to possess whatever he desires. Toys his brothers own and he longs for will be carefully placed in his drawer. Not to be played with, just to have. While the frustration his brothers endure is extensive, I tend to marvel (and yes laugh a bit) at this little guy who will always fess up to what he has done and then retrieve it from his drawer.
So the other day AJ came in mad because the bag of candy he had brought home from a birthday party was missing. "Who took my candy," he asked?
Without looking up from the picture he was coloring, Eli said, "I did."
Exasperated but also relieved, AJ asked where it was. "In my drawer," Eli replied and chose another crayon.
AJ raced to Eli's room and came back with the candy, completely intact, not a piece missing. The funny thing about Eli is that while he has been known to decimate stashes, often enough he wants only to possess whatever he desires. Toys his brothers own and he longs for will be carefully placed in his drawer. Not to be played with, just to have. While the frustration his brothers endure is extensive, I tend to marvel (and yes laugh a bit) at this little guy who will always fess up to what he has done and then retrieve it from his drawer.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The Most Fantastic
Tonight dinner was almost done when Chas asked if he could paint. It really wasn't a convenient moment but I felt I just couldn't say no. I did warn him though that he would be on his own because I was busy. He found his paint shirt and put it on. A few moments later I looked over to see that he had paper, brush and all of the lids off the paint jars. He started working away. "I really love this brown," he said. "I think its the most beautiful color." I noticed that he was indeed using quite a bit of brown.
A little later Eli came in and said that he too would like to paint. This I knew was really bad timing but I said yes. By then Aaron was home and helped him with his paint shirt. Chas offered to help Eli set up and they both began to work earnestly. I walked over to see how things were going and as I watched Chas paused mid stroke and gazing lovingly at his creation said: "I am the most fantastic artist. I can't believe how good I am!"
Chas is the most fantastic artist. His paintings hang from several walls in our home and I feel joy whenever I look at them. How does he know he's fantastic? It has never occurred to him that he wasn't. Doubt comes with age and living in a world that seeks to diminish self worth. We forget that we are our Father's most treasured creations and compare ourselves to the shadows we see around us. My hope is that each of my boys will maintain their exquisitely fantastic sense of self and always find beauty and inspiration in the browns.
A little later Eli came in and said that he too would like to paint. This I knew was really bad timing but I said yes. By then Aaron was home and helped him with his paint shirt. Chas offered to help Eli set up and they both began to work earnestly. I walked over to see how things were going and as I watched Chas paused mid stroke and gazing lovingly at his creation said: "I am the most fantastic artist. I can't believe how good I am!"
Chas is the most fantastic artist. His paintings hang from several walls in our home and I feel joy whenever I look at them. How does he know he's fantastic? It has never occurred to him that he wasn't. Doubt comes with age and living in a world that seeks to diminish self worth. We forget that we are our Father's most treasured creations and compare ourselves to the shadows we see around us. My hope is that each of my boys will maintain their exquisitely fantastic sense of self and always find beauty and inspiration in the browns.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Who needs a gun?
We have guns in our home, real and toys. The boys are aware of the differences and the responsibilities that come with each. In the beginning we didn't have toy guns. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about having my boys play with them and then one day it became clear. AJ came in to the room with a barbie in his hands - I admit to feeling proud that my son was over-coming gender designated toy rules. And then he walked over, bent Barbie in half aimed her at me and said bang bang!
I realized then that my boys were boys and liked guns. Since then we have accumulated quite the hoard but it still doesn't matter because they are quite adept at making anything into a gun! This week alone Eli has turned the following items into guns:
*the spout on Maddax's cereal box
*Pancake batter dispense
*hot wheel tracks
*hangers
*toilet paper/paper towel tubes
*hair brush/comb
*scrub brush
*straws
*blow dryer
*plastic fish
*dinosaur toys
*boot
*rolling pin
*wooden spoon
*grater
*fly swatter
*shoe horn
*ruler
*remote
*vacuum tools
*dustbuster
*spatula
*potato masher
*baster
I realized then that my boys were boys and liked guns. Since then we have accumulated quite the hoard but it still doesn't matter because they are quite adept at making anything into a gun! This week alone Eli has turned the following items into guns:
*the spout on Maddax's cereal box
*Pancake batter dispense
*hot wheel tracks
*hangers
*toilet paper/paper towel tubes
*hair brush/comb
*scrub brush
*straws
*blow dryer
*plastic fish
*dinosaur toys
*boot
*rolling pin
*wooden spoon
*grater
*fly swatter
*shoe horn
*ruler
*remote
*vacuum tools
*dustbuster
*spatula
*potato masher
*baster
Monday, March 7, 2011
Four IS Where Its At
Eli is brother number three. As Chas (#2) looks up to AJ (#1), Eli looks to Chas. Chas is four years old now. He gets to go to school and play with friends. He is cool. Just as Chas fretted when AJ was dropped at school, so now does Eli when Chas is dropped.
"I want Chas. I miss Chas. I want Chas to come home now."
This soon turns to: "When can I go to school? Where is my school? Can I go with Chas?"
Today after dropping Chas at school we went grocery shopping. Eli (and I) love the mini shopping carts at Smiths. He pushes his cart behind me and accepts what I put in it, tries to add to it, and I try to avoid being run over. We came home and he wanted to play Hide-and-Seek.
"I'm counting to four cause I'm four," he said. Then proceeded to count to 17. If I was counting he would tell me to count to four, not really caring what number I ended at. Sometimes he would stop me. " Don't count yet because I'm going to do a different plan." He'd look around and decide his next hiding spot then say, "This is where I'm going hide, or "I will hide behind the green couch, now count to four!"
Four is the number all good things come in. "Four cookies please, four grapes please, I want four pickles!" It doesn't matter what number he actually gets as long as its at least three and you don't try to argue the numbers with him. He doesn't care. Four is the number. Logic is irrelevant. Like the rabbits in "Watership Down," anything beyond four is thousands and if you can't have thousands of mm's, well then the next best number is four!
"I want Chas. I miss Chas. I want Chas to come home now."
This soon turns to: "When can I go to school? Where is my school? Can I go with Chas?"
Today after dropping Chas at school we went grocery shopping. Eli (and I) love the mini shopping carts at Smiths. He pushes his cart behind me and accepts what I put in it, tries to add to it, and I try to avoid being run over. We came home and he wanted to play Hide-and-Seek.
"I'm counting to four cause I'm four," he said. Then proceeded to count to 17. If I was counting he would tell me to count to four, not really caring what number I ended at. Sometimes he would stop me. " Don't count yet because I'm going to do a different plan." He'd look around and decide his next hiding spot then say, "This is where I'm going hide, or "I will hide behind the green couch, now count to four!"
Four is the number all good things come in. "Four cookies please, four grapes please, I want four pickles!" It doesn't matter what number he actually gets as long as its at least three and you don't try to argue the numbers with him. He doesn't care. Four is the number. Logic is irrelevant. Like the rabbits in "Watership Down," anything beyond four is thousands and if you can't have thousands of mm's, well then the next best number is four!
Humilidation
AJ is eight now and quite the reader. His favorite books are the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series by Jeff Kinney. At night after the other boys have gone to bed he reads aloud to me from them. After hearing book #5 for the umpteenth time I purchased the entire series for him. He gleefully began at the beginning so that I wouldn't miss out on a thing. His vocabulary is starting to get ahead of him, usually with humorous results. Just last night as he sat reading to me he looked up to find me making faces at him.
"Are you trying to humilidate me?"
I couldn't help but laugh as I asked him what he meant.
"Humilidate! You are laughing at me!"
I could think of a few other definitions for the word he had created, most of them surrounding humiliation and dating but considering that as of now he hopes to live with us forever and never ever kiss a girl I don't think he would appreciate my suggestions.
I apologized for hurting his feelings. How do I explain that I LOVE him, his earnestness, his theatrics, his desire to be good all so much! I LOVE him reading to me and sharing something that he loves with me. This is why I tease him. I guess it is humilidation. After all, isn't that what kids on the playground do when they like someone? Tease them?
"Are you trying to humilidate me?"
I couldn't help but laugh as I asked him what he meant.
"Humilidate! You are laughing at me!"
I could think of a few other definitions for the word he had created, most of them surrounding humiliation and dating but considering that as of now he hopes to live with us forever and never ever kiss a girl I don't think he would appreciate my suggestions.
I apologized for hurting his feelings. How do I explain that I LOVE him, his earnestness, his theatrics, his desire to be good all so much! I LOVE him reading to me and sharing something that he loves with me. This is why I tease him. I guess it is humilidation. After all, isn't that what kids on the playground do when they like someone? Tease them?
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